I've been exploring these shadow aspects, as well. Understanding that as Carl Jung suggested, we can only perceive 'darkness' outside of us that's needing to be met and integrated within us.
I honestly love hearing about people doing shadow work. A few years back, I came across a book called "Good Reasons for Bad Feelings" written by Rudolph Nesse (a psychiatrist and evolutionary biologist) that explains how emotions like anxiety, anger and sadness evolved because they helped our ancestors survive. There are reasons for them and we need to get better at listening to them because they're there to protect and alert us. It reaffirms for me that suffering and difficult emotions are not flaws to be eliminated, but natural signs to be observed, understood and worked with. Which reminds me of the Buddhist path of mindful awareness and acceptance.
Beautiful Written. Read your post on narcissism a year ago and now this <3. I still remember you got mixed reaction and responses to that post but it truly aligned with my perspective too.
It's funny you said this because in my earlier draft, I did mention that I received extremely mixed response for that article! I had someone wrote me an email explaining why they think it was wrong to frame narcissism as evil. But to me, the point wasn't about villainising individuals but more about recognising patterns and ways people manipulate, dismiss or dehumanise others.
Researching into narcissism really helped explain the toxicity I was experiencing in life a few years back. But it also put me into deep reflection mode every time this term comes up.
Every genius enters into the wilderness or some journey of solitude to find themselves.
You were once a genius, before you entered school. You must seek that genius again it is the only way to know yourself enough to navigate what is coming.
To find genius you must do the opposite of what you were conditioned to believe.
This is not possible in a group. The group will always choose consensus and that is the average. Genius is the very opposite of average.
This was so beautifully captured. I had to reread your message a few times as I found it to be very profound and honest. It's true how easily our innate brilliance can be dulled by systems built for sameness. And it made sense back then when work was mostly about following standard-of-procedures.
It's an uncanny feeling for me to feel so rebellious in my 40s (even more so than in my teenage years). But this time it feels right and definitely less guilt.
I don't believe it's rebellious to try to understand what is best for you. I am so sensitive I had no choice but do that.
Our systems are dying. I am one of the earliest ones to be pushed out. But everyone will find themselves where I am in the next 10 years.
I am not exaggerating about the genius part. Because I never could fit into the system I was able to keep my holistic intelligence, which is genius.
What our system tell us is genius is actually high cognitive intelligence created by pushing is into cognitive stamina completely. This makes all the best system servants. Servants have narrow focus and can only do iterative thinkny they serve their master and the present.
But genius thinks in the past, present and future. Genius serves 7 generations to come. To see this far into the future you must be free. It requires your whole intelligence.
What you think is rebellion is actually your reconnection to your full intelligence.
When you find it your intelligence heals. The system separate your intelligence (cognitive from somatic and this results in the loss of your higher creative intelligence). When you are whole you know yourself so wwll you know how to heal yourself even when no one does.
To survive what is coming we will need to get back to our full Intelligence. We will need our compassionate empathy - this drives patterns learning for the whole picture. Wel find our unconditional love - which is the focus to see the whole. And we find creative genius and are able to create what we need to survive.
Something within me feels the opening quote is quite scary. As in, "you better watch out, all this is coming to get you!!!"
I likely feel this because of the harshness, pressure, criticism I used to apply to myself (which, in relation to all the other factors of my life, led to me internalising a really deep sense of danger and thus fear). I'm continuing to learn how to soften, curiously attend, accept, explore and integrate such that I move towards my valued ways of being (enhancing my sense of safety, resilience etc. in the process).
I now look at that quote, or rather, it's directional meaning, as being something more of an invitation; to go towards, to sit with, to learn and to evolve.
Really appreciate your honest sharing, Nate. Makes me realise even more how much fear isn't about the words themselves but the way we've been spoken to by life... from our own people, the systems we live in, and even our own inner critic. I definitely have my own fair share of relationship with words that feel like ultimatums too. I have to admit that I haven't gotten better at not feeling them, I just got better at noticing them. And noticing them is already half of the job done. The fact that I can communicate about them has helped me work through some of the really complex emotions I was harbouring.
Thanks again for shining a light on how people can journey towards radical self-love.
Abso (effin) lutely! Wittegenstein once said, "The limits of my language mean the limits of my world". I think there's a tad more nuance than this (perhaps something a little like, "the stories I internalise become the way I experience my world"), but the general idea is there. By noticing and naming, we become much better able (through ongoing practice) to create enough distance to exercise some real agency. There is so much power in that. I'm still learning and am also getting better at accepting the real nuance and complexity of our interiority (it'll never be entirely equanimous. There will always be ups and downs. But we can, at least overall, learn through the process and live a life that is full and rich and meaningful).
I really appreciated the highlighting of how narcissism can show up subtly in all of us. A wider definition of an insidious trait, fundamental to recognise it early if we're not to let it run amok. Thank you.
I've been exploring these shadow aspects, as well. Understanding that as Carl Jung suggested, we can only perceive 'darkness' outside of us that's needing to be met and integrated within us.
I honestly love hearing about people doing shadow work. A few years back, I came across a book called "Good Reasons for Bad Feelings" written by Rudolph Nesse (a psychiatrist and evolutionary biologist) that explains how emotions like anxiety, anger and sadness evolved because they helped our ancestors survive. There are reasons for them and we need to get better at listening to them because they're there to protect and alert us. It reaffirms for me that suffering and difficult emotions are not flaws to be eliminated, but natural signs to be observed, understood and worked with. Which reminds me of the Buddhist path of mindful awareness and acceptance.
Beautiful Written. Read your post on narcissism a year ago and now this <3. I still remember you got mixed reaction and responses to that post but it truly aligned with my perspective too.
It's funny you said this because in my earlier draft, I did mention that I received extremely mixed response for that article! I had someone wrote me an email explaining why they think it was wrong to frame narcissism as evil. But to me, the point wasn't about villainising individuals but more about recognising patterns and ways people manipulate, dismiss or dehumanise others.
Researching into narcissism really helped explain the toxicity I was experiencing in life a few years back. But it also put me into deep reflection mode every time this term comes up.
Every genius enters into the wilderness or some journey of solitude to find themselves.
You were once a genius, before you entered school. You must seek that genius again it is the only way to know yourself enough to navigate what is coming.
To find genius you must do the opposite of what you were conditioned to believe.
This is not possible in a group. The group will always choose consensus and that is the average. Genius is the very opposite of average.
This was so beautifully captured. I had to reread your message a few times as I found it to be very profound and honest. It's true how easily our innate brilliance can be dulled by systems built for sameness. And it made sense back then when work was mostly about following standard-of-procedures.
It's an uncanny feeling for me to feel so rebellious in my 40s (even more so than in my teenage years). But this time it feels right and definitely less guilt.
I don't believe it's rebellious to try to understand what is best for you. I am so sensitive I had no choice but do that.
Our systems are dying. I am one of the earliest ones to be pushed out. But everyone will find themselves where I am in the next 10 years.
I am not exaggerating about the genius part. Because I never could fit into the system I was able to keep my holistic intelligence, which is genius.
What our system tell us is genius is actually high cognitive intelligence created by pushing is into cognitive stamina completely. This makes all the best system servants. Servants have narrow focus and can only do iterative thinkny they serve their master and the present.
But genius thinks in the past, present and future. Genius serves 7 generations to come. To see this far into the future you must be free. It requires your whole intelligence.
What you think is rebellion is actually your reconnection to your full intelligence.
When you find it your intelligence heals. The system separate your intelligence (cognitive from somatic and this results in the loss of your higher creative intelligence). When you are whole you know yourself so wwll you know how to heal yourself even when no one does.
To survive what is coming we will need to get back to our full Intelligence. We will need our compassionate empathy - this drives patterns learning for the whole picture. Wel find our unconditional love - which is the focus to see the whole. And we find creative genius and are able to create what we need to survive.
Beautiful as always.
Something within me feels the opening quote is quite scary. As in, "you better watch out, all this is coming to get you!!!"
I likely feel this because of the harshness, pressure, criticism I used to apply to myself (which, in relation to all the other factors of my life, led to me internalising a really deep sense of danger and thus fear). I'm continuing to learn how to soften, curiously attend, accept, explore and integrate such that I move towards my valued ways of being (enhancing my sense of safety, resilience etc. in the process).
I now look at that quote, or rather, it's directional meaning, as being something more of an invitation; to go towards, to sit with, to learn and to evolve.
Looking forward to our next chat!
Really appreciate your honest sharing, Nate. Makes me realise even more how much fear isn't about the words themselves but the way we've been spoken to by life... from our own people, the systems we live in, and even our own inner critic. I definitely have my own fair share of relationship with words that feel like ultimatums too. I have to admit that I haven't gotten better at not feeling them, I just got better at noticing them. And noticing them is already half of the job done. The fact that I can communicate about them has helped me work through some of the really complex emotions I was harbouring.
Thanks again for shining a light on how people can journey towards radical self-love.
Abso (effin) lutely! Wittegenstein once said, "The limits of my language mean the limits of my world". I think there's a tad more nuance than this (perhaps something a little like, "the stories I internalise become the way I experience my world"), but the general idea is there. By noticing and naming, we become much better able (through ongoing practice) to create enough distance to exercise some real agency. There is so much power in that. I'm still learning and am also getting better at accepting the real nuance and complexity of our interiority (it'll never be entirely equanimous. There will always be ups and downs. But we can, at least overall, learn through the process and live a life that is full and rich and meaningful).
I really appreciated the highlighting of how narcissism can show up subtly in all of us. A wider definition of an insidious trait, fundamental to recognise it early if we're not to let it run amok. Thank you.